Your Back Again!

After my father was diagnose with cancer I never thought I would have to deal with cancer again. I do not know why I thought cancer would never have a part of my life again but December 2007 that all changed. That month I was begging my parents to allow me to stay up at school for the break but they kept saying no not this year. I was just not understanding why they were saying no but one night it all made sense. I arrived home for winter break and as usual when coming home for break, my mother made my favorite dinner. After dinner my mother, father, and I were watching TV together in the living room. I had recently got a new laptop so I was still all excited to play around with it. I playing around on the laptop and was also video chatting with one of my best friends (my parents did not realize I was in a video chat). I looked at my father that was starring at my Mom watching TV and I said to him in a joking manner, "What the hell is your problem, starring at Mom?!" He looked at me and looked at my Mom again and goes, "Heather we have to tell you something." My mouth and heart dropped, I knew something was wrong and remind you I am still on video with my friend. My father than want about telling me how my parents did not want to tell me during my finals weeks and cause anymore stress but they found lumps in my mothers breast and the biopsy results were positive. I started yelling, "NO! NO! No, you don't have breast cancer!" I slammed my laptop closed and ran to my Mom, she hugged me and told be she would be fine, everything is gong to be okay.

I was 20 years old at the time but I felt like a little kid again. I felt like I could not do anything to help. It would kill me to see my mother go through what my father did.  Later that night my Dad talked to me and said she is going to be fine, she is a strong woman, we just have to be supportive the whole way, and "Remember to keep everything normal. We have to keep everything normal. It's going to help relax Mom."

What Cancer Cannot Do (Poem)

What Cancer Cannot Do

Author: Unknown

Cancer is so limited.
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.

I Just Made Someone Cry!

Just this past weekend, I was at Joanne Fabrics with my mother to pick up some fleece fabric for some blankets I am making for the holidays. Joanne Fabrics was pretty busy when I arrived and we waited 10 minutes in line to get our fabric cut. We were next in line and I had two card full of fabric for the sales associate to cut. As I hand her fabric she asks me how much of this print I would like and then she would proceed to cut the fabric and repeat the process with other 15 fleece prints I need to be cut. So, as she is cutting the fabric I am talking to my mom and the sales associate asks who am I making all these blankets for and my answer was, "I am donating them to the Childrens Hospital in Boston." A couple minutes go by and she asks me another question and the answer to this question hit home to the lady. She asked me what makes me want to donate these blankets to the Childrens Hospital. As I answer this I look at my mother for a couple of seconds and turn and replied, "Well, both my parents have been diagnosed with cancer and they are both survivors. And I know how much stress it brings on to the family and I know there is families out there that will be spending their holidays in the hospital so, why not give and think of the families that need it around this time of year."

Her head drop and my mother asks if she was okay. She nodded yes and carried on cutting my fabric while letting some tears drop. As she finishes, we say thank you and happy holidays and head to the register. As I am paying we noticed that the lady is crying into the manager arms. Next thing we know the manager comes up to the register and puts in a little code and says happy holidays and I see the discount and say thank you. The manager turns to me and goes, "No, thank you."

I felt so bad I mad the sales associate cry but by her crying kind of made me really realize how the little things you can do can touch someone.

When Cancer First Impacted My Life Cont.

Back To The Story....

When my father was home in between treatments, we tried to keep everything normal. My parents went to work, I went to school, they would help me with homework, take me to my friends, play games, and family dinners. I believe from my father being diagnosed is the reason why my family is so close and every minute we can spend together, we cherish.

The day I remember like it was yesterday was the day my Dad came home after his final chemo treatment. It was a sunny weekend day and since it was my Dad’s last treatment my mom wanted everything to be right when he got home so, my aunt and uncle drove him home from the hospital. I remember their silver, brand new, two door Saturn pulling into our driveway. My Mom and I met my Dad, aunt, and uncle outside. My father got out of the car smiled and said hi than moved slowly through the garage and into the house. He then sat on the coach and I remember just watching him sit there. He was not himself, look really tried, sick, and just not right. We asked him if we wanted anything and all he said was, “crackers and peanut butter”. I just remember being scared that he did seem right.

 That day is one day I will always remember. From what I touched upon from that day of my father coming home from his last chemo treatment, really cannot even touch the images and feelings that run through my head when I remember that day.  

I am very blessed that my father won his war against cancer and to have him here by my side on this very day. Believe. Believe. Believe. Believe.

When Cancer First Impacted My Life....

Cancer, whats Cancer? Well, at the age of 6 all I knew was it making my father very sick and made many things stressful. I was in first grade and I know many people say they have a hard time remembering what they did in first grade but I remember this part of my life very well. My father was diagnose with testicular cancer in 1992 and I cannot exactly remember how my parents went about telling me but as things occurred they would sit me down and try their best to explain to me what was going on. All I understood was my father would be gone every other week to “get better”, aka chemo, he would lose his hair, we wouldn’t be able to play sports as often as we use to, and mom and me would be driving into Boston, MA a couple times a week. 

At first my father had surgery to remove what they could and then that following October he started his 8 to 9 months of chemo. At the age of 6, it was hard for me to take in and understand why my dad had to be away from me/home for a whole week, every other week. The first couple of times my father came home after his week of treatments, he would be very tired, he would try his best to keep me company and play games with me while trying to help my mom with what he could around the house. His treatments took place at Beth Israel Hospital in Boston, MA. Treatments would start on a Saturday and his last treatment of the week ending on Friday. When my mother and I would drop him off on Saturday, we would stay with family that live in the area so that we could spend the weekend days with him. His treatments ran through the nights and end in the mornings, so he would have the day to walk around and do whatever. During the week when my father had treatments, my mom and I would go visit a couple times a week and pick him up the on Friday nights or Saturday mornings. I can still picture some of the drives down with my mom, bright lights, bridges, LOTS of traffic, and always making my mom stop for bathroom breaks, haha.

.... to be continued....

And We Are Off....

Here we go my first blog on the topic of cancer! This topic is hard for me to talk about but maybe through this blog it will help me open up and find some kind of ease.

Cancer to me is something that I can say I HATE! I am the type of person that believes hate is a strong word but in this situation hate is the perfect word to describe cancer for me. Besides feeling hate when I hear the word cancer, for some reason I always think “BELIEVE”. Repeating the word believe is something I have done since cancer first had an impact on my life. When I heard the word cancer for the first time I was 6 years old and since I was so young the only thing I knew about cancer was that it made my father very sick and caused much stress on the family. As I got older, I started to get a better understanding of cancer but my feelings and thoughts about it still remain the same. Believe and Hate.

For some reason growing up I had a mindset that no one else in my life would get cancer; why I had this mindset, I have not a clue. But when I was 20, cancer yet again affected my life when my mother was diagnose and since then, three years ago, there have been several other family members and a friend that have been diagnose. As my blog comes together, I will reveal the stories. 

In this blog, I am revealing my thoughts, emotions, and stories on how cancer has had an impact on my life. Every story and diagnoses are so different from each other, if you have comments or a story of your own please share, I would love to hear your stories.

“In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true.” 

- Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta

Blog Creative Brief

Project Description:  This blog “Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop BELIEVING” is a personal journal of mine that will reveal my emotions, thoughts, and stories of being impacted by having family members and friends that have been diagnosed with cancer.

Prepared By:  Heather Bartolo

Statement of Purpose:  From this blog, I hope those that have been impacted by  family members and/or close friends that have been diagnosed with cancer, can find some kind of comfort or relevance to the life experiences that I will reveal. Life motto of keep on believing.

Target Audience: Anyone that has been impacted by cancer; mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, best friends, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, cousins, neighbors, teammates, etc...

Brand Identity:   

“Believe!” - - “Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop BELIEVING!”

I want the emotions, thoughts, and stories that are revealed to show and motivate others that no matter what, just believe.

What will assist / support creative development? 

Title: Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop BELIEVING

The blog will be simple with a splash of color.  Photos, quotes, links, and videos will be displayed through out postings.

I welcome everyone to comment and even share their stories, as every story is so different from one another. 

Schedule for completion: Sunday, December 12.

 http://alwaysbelieve4.blogspot.com/